It's a sucky word isn't it? Means things don't get better, means instead of working harder & getting better you get to work that hard & if you're lucky you get to stay the same. Now, it's that a joyful thought? Woo hoo, bust your ass for status quo! Plus, it's not even guaranteed, you could work that hard every day & still go downhill. Well with all that can't you see why I signed up?
You may have noticed some sarcasm in that last paragraph. I hate knowing that this might be as good as it gets, that barring something real odd happening I'm not going to get "better". I hate that next month my doc & I will be discussing Social Security.
I just wish I knew where I'd be in 6 months or a year. How far down will I go? It's a bit like falling in to a hole & you can't see the bottm.
I wrote this the other day & for some reason didn't put it up, since I can't remember, I'm putting it up.
About Me
- Queen Slug
- Little Town, Midwest, United States
- Just your average 30-something mom with EDS & Poland's Syndrome.
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2 comments:
You and me both...
Went to Biokinetick's this morning...and ended up sleeping two hours afterwards. Is it worth the exhaustion when you don't even know if it is going to work ... ? Well,
I guess I have nothing to lose except a couple of hours every day. It's not like I drive a combined two hours a day, work 8 hours and get home so peeked I hardly have enough energy to eat ... * Sarcastic *
Bleh... I don't want to know where I am at in 6 months... I want to know when I will again have enough time/energy for hobbies over weekends instead of just sitting like a zombie infront of the computer, so I can ammuse my brain while my body rests...
Everyone IS going downhill...it's just that some of us just don't have great brakes...
So if I get myself in to a good break shop I'll be ok? ;)
I know what you're saying about sitting in front of the computer so the mind has something to do while the body falls apart. I seem to spend far to much time in front of the computer simply because the chair is super comfy & I don't have to do anything physical at all to be entertained.
I too want to know when I will have the energy & ability I had just a few years ago. I want to know when I will be able to play with my daughter without having to weigh the joy she gets from me playing with her vs the pain I'll be in after I do it. It's suck bullshit, we shouldn't have to think like this we are too young to be in the shape we are in. What scares me most is in all likelihood I'll live for another 40-50 years. At the rate I'm going what quality of life will I have?
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